So my parents came up for Conner's primary program and for some reason my mom had put the roast on warm, instead of high in the crock pot so of course it wasn't done when we got home from church. I have to remind her that our family is quite grateful for any cooking done at our house lately. Although Conner is quite fond of Wendy's chicken nuggets and honey mustard. ....Anyway, we got discussing some things and we were talking about friends and families that my parents have kept in touch with through 27 years of marriage and at least that many or more moves. And we came up, through our discussion, approximately three kinds of friends. Although I had never heard my mom talk about it, I have had similar discussions with my husband and other friends.
1. Single friends - these are the people you or your husband knew when you were single. They may or may not still be single. But just because they graduate from single status, they don't always graduate to the next group of friends. Some you still keep in touch with and may even get together with, either by yourself or if they are still single, invite over for an occassional family dinner. But if they are married, and you get together with them and their spouse, they are no longer single friends but have made the jump to married friends.
2. Married friends - These are the friends that both you and your husband like. Sometimes you knew them single and they have graduated....but more likely you have met them since you were married. Typically this happens when the wife likes the wife and the husband likes the husband. You have similar interests, situations, etc. Sadly, there may be many of the above mentioned single friends whose new spouses disqualify them from being included in this group. You know the drill. The wife can't stand the other wife, or the husband thinks the other husband is dull or not quite enough in tune to SportsCenter. I think everyone can follow this logic and can think of at least one occassion where they have been forced to bear an unpleasant social situation where you are "testing" out of the likelihood of making a new "couple" married friend.
However, this next group gets more complicated and I hadn't quite thought of it until my mom articulated it and then I went, "oh we do that."
3. Group three - Married friends you can stand their children - (Sorry couldn't think of a shorter name - am up for suggestions in the comments) - Ever met a couple that didn't quite make the cut for married friends? In fact, they might have been acquaintances that you didn't spend much time with and then all of a sudden you have children similar in age or activities and you begin hanging out. It all starts with a playdate and then it just kind of works out from there. On the flip side, your old married friends may not make the cut if you can't stand their kids or what they allow their kids to do. Granted, they still get to be married friends, but the whole family deal is few and far between.
Anyways, that is my two bits. But in all reality, we don't spend a lot of time with friends. Mostly just family because we are too busy for much else. But it works for us. What works for you?
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5 comments:
Chris and I have gone from "dating" married friends (you know, to test them out) to going steady with a group of them. We used to care if we had something planned to do, if we called before we dropped in, or if we weren't in our pajamas before seeing each other. But not anymore! It's so nice to have a steady relationship with a group of friends. We've kind of become family to each other (helping each other out, offering rides when cars are in the shop, loaning three cups of sugar, and babysitting with little notice). It really makes me happy!
I think your group three could be categorized as "Married with Children*) The * is extremely important as it designates that you can stand their kids! :) HA HA That is my professional opinion for you!
Oh, and the single group - it TOTALLY is the place to be! :) I'm a little partial to it!
That just put so much more pressure on us. I think that we have passed the "married test", but now you have to like our child too?
I'll let you know when Bentley is having a super good day before we try that one out :)
Dave and I have all three - but most of the single friends we have are his childhood group :) Most of those have graduated into the married group. And I totally agree with the married w/ children you can stand group. Our baby isn't here yet, but if your kids are obnoxious, we won't hang out with you. We loved seeing you this weekend - we both get so excited when family pays us a visit!
oh my goodness is it ever hard to find married friends that both you and your husband get along with...and the whole kid things usually just adds another wrench in the gears. Too bad you guys don't live closer to us.. I would love to hang out with you.
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